S.

Friday, May 22, 2009,5:35 PM

half a vent, because I'm nervous.

I'm sitting here, about to take the stand.. (8)
Yes, that Jackie Boys song is still stuck in my head. Lol, yeup.
Carassauga's tonight and I guess I'm very excited. But at the same
time I'm like FML, its today and I don't wanna screw up, and especially
since I'm in the front corner too... -__- Grace (one of the teachers)
put me there since I'm short, sooo life sucks. Yet, in all honesty.. I
probably have more pressure being added to my mind. I don't even know why
I'm so nervous this year. I don't even know if it's cause I feel kinda
sad in my heart, or because I'm nervous I have 3 dances to do this year.
Probably both, and I guess the heart part is kind of adding pressure to
myself. Why do I feel this way ?.. Hm, I wouldn't say that I'm heartbroken.
I think I feel "heart-dented" LMAO, yeah.. Technically, it's been damaged
before and it just got a little big dent on it again. Whatever, I know I'll
be okay.. I guess. Sure, I'm sad, I'm upset, of course I miss him. But
what can I do ? Nada. But one thing's for sure, I know that I'm a smart
girl, and I should do what's best for myself for once in my life. I
shouldn't let people or things ever walk over me like I'm a sidewalk.
No. Never. I've been neglected and mistreated by so many other people
in my past, and I think I should stop letting my guard down. I feel for
the first time in my life, I'm learning to pick myself up again alone
without anyone helping me, basically no tears, no pain, just dissapointment.
I think I'll be okay. This will past. Everyone goes through hard times,
but I guess life goes on in the end right ?

Labels: carassauga, fucking nervous, idk