S.

Monday, June 29, 2009,12:54 AM

It's back again and...

I'm tired. I really am. Everytime I see you, hear about
you, or someone close to you is around me. I get this huge
drop in the pit of my stomach that literally makes me
wanna throw up. Today I saw your friends, and I felt this empty
slide pulling me down inside.. I seriously hate it. I don't like
feeling this way anymore. Please let it stop. I hate
having to know your presence is still out there in this lifetime,
and it's something I cannot avoid.. regardless of me never
ever seeing you or speaking to you. I'm frustrated with everything
about you and who you are now. Only thing that keeps me holding
back is the old you. The old version of you.. ? Somehow, that
old you is dead and gone... and no where to be
found. But fuck, reality sometimes can punch you in the face
a bit when you least realize it. I don't like this anymore.
I just want it all to stop. I'm fucking annoyed. It's getting
to the point where I feel like I'm slowing going down the stairs
again, not up. Whatever happened to that ? I don't fucking know.
I'm so stressed. You may see this one day and go, "She's fucking
pathetic.. desperate, as if she wants attention," No. Never.
Obviously I write my shit down in my blog just for my own sake.
Just so I can say how I feel, not how desperate I am. Never.
In conclusion, things are so fucked up in my mind, that I can't
even dare to explain it to my friends. I'm just gonna end this
off again with another, fuck you and goodbye.

Labels: fuck you